"Who? ME....?"
The statement that the Duchess of Sussex is "saddened" by accusations of bullying levelled against her came as no surprise to me. In fact, I was reminded of an appalling bully who targeted me mercilessly when I was a temp.
When I finally went to the Head of HR to raise the issue, she told others she was "disappointed" in me. This person, working for a 'care' organisation as Head of Learning and Development, had me shaking and terrified to answer the 'phone every time I could see it was her calling. Others on the staff were horrified at her behaviour towards me.
Everyone had a tale to tell about her. When I went to the Head of HR (and broke down in his office), he was wonderful, but I remember noting that absolutely NONE of it seemed to come as any surprise to him. Yet, she remained in post, and I was the one who had to leave.
I spent several years in the wilderness of either more bad jobs or unemployment until I landed up at a company who recognised my skills and encouraged me. I am now Document Controller for an Airline. This is a major responsibility covering not just marketing and branding, but airworthiness. In short, my documents ensure aircraft safety and ultimately, the preservation of life. However, it has taken five years and careful nurturing by a perceptive manager to bring me to this point.
When my bully boss got hold of me, I was a highly recommended PA with fast, accurate typing, sunny, 'can do' disposition, and professional skills honed at some of London's most prestigious companies. By the time I left the 'care' company, I was nervous, underweight, stuck on antidepressants, and fearful I would ever secure another job. Yet it was my former manager who was sadly "disappointed" that I had complained about her. What did she expect? I wondered. Did she expect gratitude? Thanks?
Bully bosses, drunk on power over those ranked lower than themselves NEVER believe they have done anything wrong when those people finally fight back. They are ALWAYS "saddened" and mystified (as are their friends who see a very different side to them).
We may never know what really went down at the Palace, but something clearly did. I am glad that matters are to be investigated. Better late than never. Bullying is never OK. All I hope is that lessons will be learned, and that the people affected have found lovely employers since. Most importantly, I hope they have regained confidence in themselves - and belief in the skills that landed them their jobs in the first place.
© Emmeline Wyndham - 2021
